Drums and Nephews

I've never had kids, never been pregnant, and cannot comprehend the responsibility of bringing a person into this world and having to care and feed it until it can fend for itself. I admire and respect every mother I've ever met; it cannot be an easy job.

I have two nephews, age 18 and 12. I've never had enough money to be able to lavish love on the boys in a material way. Instead I've tried to connect with them, to bond with them, mostly with my time. Oftentimes our oldest sister would buy a gift for one of the boys, and offer to let me go in on it. Many times I've taken her up on this, and appreciate her doing the leg work.

I've never considered myself a good gift giver, I've never really felt I knew or understood what other people wanted and why.

However, lately that seems to be changing.

Recently my oldest sister and I had breakfast with the woman who cared for my dad for 8 years. Somehow I knew what I could bring her. I had a shirt of my mom's that I never wear because it has shoulder pads and a turtleneck and yet it is short-sleeved. I don't wear short-sleeved turtlenecks, it feels like a contradiction to me. (Short sleeves are for summer, and turtlenecks are for winter, wtf Ma? Waddupwiddat?)

Ekiria appreciated the shirt, and I feel certain she will wear it herself or find a good home for it.

Something also told me she might like some pictures, so I made a copy of a photo of Dad's surviving family at his Memorial Service August 26th last year, and another one of our whole family from 1996 or 97 when our mom was still alive. I couldn't decide if she might want some lilacs as well so I offered them to her, and in fact she did want them, so I gave her a bunch. It's not like I couldn't get more :)

Recently I discovered I have been friends with someone online who has a daddy that was once in a famous rock band a long time ago. I had no idea this kid was who he is, until after I had already found myself agreeing with nearly everything he said on our forum, prompting me to reach out to him in a PM to let him know I lived in his state and would be happy to get together and chat if we could pull it together some time.

After returning from NC, where I learned there were two more people from my state on the forums (they read a lot but don't post much, so I had no idea who they were) I decided it was time to try putting together a Massachusetts MBT meetup. I love Tom Campbell, and I love his books, I love his forums, and I love getting together with other people who love all that too! So I organized a meetup at the same place I attended my first Consciousness meetup, around Halloween in 2009.

I realize I am taking a long time to get to the drums and the nephews, but that is because I had such a good time at the first and second meetups, and enjoyed the son of the drummer's company on a mushroom hunt in between, and got to meet the famous drummer himself and hang out at their house for a while, and started listening to that old band's music again in earnest, and realized my nephews might like this music, particularly the older one who is a drummer himself.

Then I happened to be in Wal-Mart buying my first MP3 player and what did I see but a boxed set of this band's first two albums at the incredible bargain price of $11.88. My close friend BB's twins were born in November of 1988 so this was a meaningful number to me, and of course I had planned to buy it already anyway, even if the price tag said $25-$30.

I sent my nephew a Facebook message letting him know that the drumming in one of the songs on the first album that I really really love, doesn't actually have my friend's daddy drumming on it, but I hoped he thought the rest of it was ok, and he replied that the drumming was solid.

My nephews are both graduating next month - one from elementary school and the other one from high school. When I graduated high school, my family had my sister's graduation from college that same weekend, and somehow this feels like it's come full circle for me. I want to be at both of their graduations, and I want to come up with some memorable gifts.

My young friend doesn't even realize he brought me closer to my older nephew with the mere fact of his simple existence. Having met rock stars, even aging ones, is a pretty cool thing in most people's eyes. I've met more than my share, in fact there are only two more I can think of that I would be happy to meet. Other than that I'm all set.

It's hard to explain how my friendship with Adam brought me closer to Teryn. They are only about four years apart in age, and although he is not a drummer, he IS a musician, and has a lot of joie de vivre. He would set a good example for both my nephews if there was ever a way I could get them all in one room together. His dad still works as a professional drummer who I invited my nephews to go see with me next month, but with the graduations and family stuff, I'm not sure it will work out.

I am very happy for Tom Campbell's Big TOE and the people it's lately connecting me with. The impact it's had on my life has been significant, and I am grateful to the universe for answering my prayer of bringing me a smart, non-drinker, non-TV watching, non-sports person, who would be open with me and answer my direct questions with straightforward answers and help me learn how to be the best me I can be. It's been a fantastic 18 months!

Love,
Lynda
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