Self-Forgiveness

I am becoming a master copy/paster! I found this post on a Desteni forum while searching for what others had to say about the WingMakers material. Since the kind soul Gabriel took the time and trouble to type all of this up, I thought I would re-post it here for folks to take a look at and decide if it resonates. I bolded some parts that rang true for me.Warning, it's pretty lengthy.

The first reply to Gabriel's post said something like "Thanks, that helped clear some self-forgiveness." Well, Ya! I think that's what it was meant to do!

Here's what Gabriel said:

"is the voice really me? is it actually me speaking? why have i come to believe i require this inner voice? how did this start? when the voice speaks, what is actually going on? why did i listen? how can it be there is a voice in my head? does it serve a purpose?

did i accept it because i saw everyone else was doing it?

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust my thoughts because i saw everyone else doing it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that because everyone else is doing it, it must be acceptable and ok

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to not question my thoughts or the origin of my thoughts but merely take them for granted as 'a part of me' - as 'me speaking to msyelf' apparently

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to indulge in thought because i used the excuse that no one can see it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to try to live my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe my thoughts guide me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe i can still trust my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe my thoughts are 'mine'

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see thought as normal, because it has always been there, because i apparently cannot remember having no thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to wish my thoughts were real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to hope my thoughts are real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust my thoughts as real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret having trusted my thoughts all my life

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret having believed my thoughts all my life

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to continue following my thoughts, because i believed
this is all there is

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to judge my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see thoughts as 'me'

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see thoughts as necessary to survive, and that thinking assists me with being able to survive in this world

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret that i never considered trusting myself as life instead of trusting my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret never having trusted myself as life and merely having tried to live my thoughts and trust the program

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret never having stopped myself and question what i am actually doing, why is there thought?

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that thought is necessary because we were created by god, therefore it must be right

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that i was created by god and therefore not question myself

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe there must be a purpose to everything because i believed it was created by God

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to place my trust in a God seperate from me so that i would never have to question myself - who i am- what is actually going on in this world and within me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe the world and humans are good as it is in essence because god created it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust my thoughts as god

i forgive myself that i have never allowed myself to realise that in everything i am responsible for myself and that i my own creation

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see thinking as useful

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to participate in thought because i wanted to be accepted by others

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to seek for acceptance with others and by others, instead of seeing myself and accepting myself as all as one as equal and trusting myself as life

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to want to be smart like other children and therefore indulge in thought

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that other people have usefull thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe others had cool thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see others thoughts as more than me, and feel inferior

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to feel inferior to other people's thoughts as they would speak them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to compare myself to other people as they would speak their thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to speak my thoughts because i wanted to be accepted and because i believed that if others do it then it must be ok

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that the thoughts people speak is who they really are, is that which make them 'someone'/a person - and i wanted to be accepted as someone as a person as well

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that in order to be a real person i must start speaking my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to want to become 'a real person'

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see others as real persons and that apparently you had to be a person to be accepted and to exist in this world

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to start speaking 'my mind' because i saw everyone else at school doing it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust school and the teachers and other children instead of trusting myself as life

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to believe the other children and teachers were these
'great beings' that seemed to know much more than me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to feel inferior to other children and the teacher because they seemed to know a lot more than me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to think and believe i must know the same things as others, so that they will accept me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that if i cannot speak like the others, then i am less than them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to feel helpless when other children or the teacher seemed to know more than me or when i didn't know something

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that i should take their thoughts and knowledge seriously

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to take the words that were spoken by teachers and other children seriously

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to give into self-defeat because i believed i needed those people and because i believed i had no other way than to learn their way

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that i could not stop myself

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe i could not take responsibility for myself

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe i had no choice

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to see others as somehow superior than me because of what they said and what they knew

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to see my father as superior to me because of what he said and what he knew

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to not one moment question what i was experiencing within and what was happening, because no one else did

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe the lies people told me and accept them as real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to accept and trust the lies other children and teachers told me

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to start lying to msyelf because everyone else was doing it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to accept my own lies as real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to not realise thoughts are lies

i forgive myself that i havent allowed myself to realize that everything that was ever told to me was lies

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that everything i was told by 'friends' were lies

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that everything adults and family and teachers told me was lies

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to not see that i was being lied to

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to merely accept the lies that i tell myself because i've done it for so long

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to define myself according to lies

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe lies must be ok because i saw everyone was lying

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to become a liar because i allowed myself to start lying to myself in thought

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to accept my own lies as true

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to trust others' lies as true because other believed them, or because everyone else believed them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust someone because everyone else seem to trust them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust knowlegde in books because everyone else seems to trust it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust the teacher because all other children seemed to trust them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust my mind because everyone else seemed to trust their mind

ok, now i'm done"

http://desteni.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10775

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