My Theory of the Mass by Lynda G. Sterling

NOTE: I started writing this book years ago, before reading anything by Neale Donald Walsch, Tom Campbell or Dr. Michael Sharp. When I read the first CwG books, I realized mine didn't need to be written.

This is all I could find of it so far, I know there is more somewhere, buried.

Introduction
I had no religious upbringing. I was never trained in any religion. Therefore, I do not claim to have any religious knowledge or background. I wonder sometimes if that’s why I came up with my theory of the Mass. I had to have some explanation for life, the Universe, mysterious things like miracles, yet I could not consider “God” to be the reason for these occurrences. I could not believe in a male God; a God who made man “in his image”.
I remembered reading somewhere that in the original language of the bible, there were no masculine or feminine pronouns. The same pronoun meant he, she, it and more, and the meaning was gleaned from the context. Somehow, somewhere, through the ages of men, something was lost in the translation. Most people had come to think of God as a male. Being female I simply could not buy this idea. I could not swallow the thought that the all-powerful force in this place could possibly ever have a penis.
You may notice I frequently use tired cliches. That is because I am truly not a writer. I am truly just a person with a theory I want to share. So let’s get on with it...


Chapter 1: The beginning
Once upon a time, there was an infinite mass of energy. All that existed was this mass. This mass was all that there was. God, the universe, Allah, Buddha, the All That There Is, none of these existed, only the mass. The mass spent millions of eons getting to know and to love itself. The mass got to know and to love itself intimately. Then one day the mass became bored. It knew itself well enough to know it had become lonely. It had become sick of being All That There Was. So the mass came up with a plan.
“As well as I know myself,” the mass thought to itself, “and I know myself well, I want to get to know myself better. I want to know how I will behave, given different circumstances. I want to know how I would behave were I born into poverty to parents who did not plan for me. Likewise, I want to know how I will behave if born to loving, generous, wealthy parents with servants and everything money can buy. I want to know what it’s like to be tall, short, skinny, fat, smart, dumb and so forth. I want to know how I would interact with different entities on different planets and in different time periods. I want to have fingers and eyes and to smell things, and hear. I want to try things and do things and go places and love. I want to experience everything and mull it all over. I think I will create myself some excitement.”
And so, the universe came into being. There was a big bang, or a spark, or whatever theory you like to believe about the beginning of time. And eventually people were there. And people were there through the ages. Smart, short, dumb, fat, all types of people lived all kinds of lives. They evolved from hunters and gatherers to conveyors of information. But people forgot one fundamental fact: they all were a part of the mass. They forgot that they came here to know one another, to love one another, and to experience things and live life.
Throughout this book, you’ll hear me say, “we came here to know one another.” I truly believe this is so. All of my beliefs about religion and death and coincidence and fear and true love, all tie-in one way or another to this theory I’ve developed of the mass. Through books that I’ve read and discussions I’ve had, I believe in reincarnation. I believe one soul can live many lifetimes, and that the time in between is spent studying. I believe the universe is one big giant schoolhouse, and everything we do while we’re here has to do in some way with our learning. I believe that enlightenment is a gradual process, one each of us does on his own. It will be my goal, through the course of this book, to explain why I believe as I do.

Chapter 2: Visualization
I started learning about creative visualization approximately ten years ago. Ever since I learned we only use ten percent or less of our brainpower, I believed the additional 90% must be for something phenomenal. If we can accomplish as much as we have using less than one-tenth of our brain, imagine what could be accomplished if we were operating at full capacity! Or even at ninety percent! I have long believed that extrasensory perception is more than a likelihood, but fact. I believe I have experienced telepathy myself, as well as hearing the voice of my inner self. I believe in the forces of prayer and visualization, in everyday aspects of life. I believe that, more than just “positive thinking” it is possible to do things with our minds. I believe we can act as clear channels for love, and I believe those who do are immortal. I believe it is possible to live together in peace and it is my hope that this book will encourage that.
Anyway, I believe it is possible, if we think the right thoughts, to actually make things happen in our lives. I can’t believe it is coincidence that ten years ago I started dreaming of, wishing for, whatever you want to call it, a house and a dog and good cars. I find it so humorous, when looking over old notebooks, how perfectly everything happened. I can’t thank Shakti Gawain and Sanaya Roman enough for writing the books that I read. Gradually I realized whatever I spent the most of my time thinking about, or wishing for, or just concentrating on like a laser, would actually come true for me in time. I first visualized being a writer, then a professional gambler, and eventually a self-made, independently wealthy, altruistic and generous multi-billionaire who donates to charity and gives homeless creatures a home. So far I’m a writer and a pretty good gambler, but the billions are slow to arrive.

Chapter 3: Fear of Death, after Death, Crossing Over and Mom
I have long believed it is possible to communicate with the dead once they’re gone.
For most of my life I’ve been interested in people who claim they can “Speak to the Dead.” I don’t think it’s a small coincidence that I am alive in the time that I am, because more and more authors and books on the subject have come along since I first had these feelings. I used to pillage the TV guide listings for talk shows featuring Sylvia Browne or John Edward. I was particularly fond of James van Praagh, with those beautiful, honest blue eyes. I had the good fortune to sit for John Holland in Boston and through him, my Mom gave me a rose.
All the books I’ve read about near death experiences confirm what I’ve come to believe. When we die, at the moment of death, foremost we don’t feel a thing. There is no pain associated with the moment of death, just an incomprehensible freedom and love. There is the freedom of being out of our physical bodies and the remembering of what we once were. There is the overwhelming sense of “having come home” and the powerful forces of love. There is the remembering of all we once knew as the truth, and the comparison to how we lived life. There is a life review, where we watch what we’ve done, and remark how we could have done better. There is a reunion with souls that we loved here on earth and the feeling of again being wrapped, enveloped, in the light of God’s love. Now, I said in the introduction, about God and all that, but this explanation satisfies most. Heaven, or most people’s conception of it, is basically what I believe too. You go home, you see the light and feel the love, and remember all you once knew. The very idea of having all of my questions answered invokes visions of heaven for me. But I had trouble reconciling my beliefs about after-death communication with my beliefs about life after life. If someone could be reborn, if my dog Sabrina could be the reincarnated soul of my friend Mikey’s dog Norton, then how could Norton’s soul still be in a place where he could be contacted by someone like John Edward? I had to devise a more clarified vision of what does it mean to be here. Then I suddenly read in a book the concept of multiple galaxies. Suppose for a moment you reached a crossroads in your life, a place where an important decision needed making. Suppose you then split, into two different yous, and each of you made one decision. This is a very difficult concept to grasp, I know, and I am still figuring it out for myself. But suppose every choice you ever had to make in your life, you actually got to live out both decisions? One of you, the you that you know, made the choice that you made, but just suppose if you can, that’s not all. Suppose you split off and you lived out both choices, and later you looked down both paths? This is why I feel that some of us have that uncontrollable urge to “see what I would have had” playing games. Whenever, in poker, I would fold and not draw, I had to check the person’s cards on my left who “got what I would have had.” Or in dice, like in Yahtzee, if you take the full house, would you have pulled four-of-a if you rolled on three fives? In my theory of the mass, there’s no need to worry! You go down the path you are sure is more right, and it all will work out in the end!

My theory explains why I felt such a strong bond with the people at work when I took my last job. I had interviewed for the same job nearly a year before but had turned it down because I was not ready to leave the place I was at. Ten months and three layoffs later, I was singing a different tune. So when I took the job and met all my co-workers, they were shockingly familiar to me, even though we had all just met. The multiple universe theory would say that I knew these people from having actually taken the job a year before, meaning that another me in another universe had actually been working with these people for the last eleven months!
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Edit - Just found a more complete copy - I will post when I am able.
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The Consciousness Connection

Thomas Campbell, you are my hero. I watched your London presentation and listened to your interview on The Intuitive Soul and I am now your faithful follower. You managed to bring together everything I've been studying and present it in a logical, scientific manner. You are the first nuclear physicist I've ever heard of to want to try having out of body experiences. And you are also the first nuclear physicist I've ever heard say The Law of Attraction is correct, you do create your own reality.

And whether you realize it or not, this consciousness of which you speak is clearly God.

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Self-Forgiveness

I am becoming a master copy/paster! I found this post on a Desteni forum while searching for what others had to say about the WingMakers material. Since the kind soul Gabriel took the time and trouble to type all of this up, I thought I would re-post it here for folks to take a look at and decide if it resonates. I bolded some parts that rang true for me.Warning, it's pretty lengthy.

The first reply to Gabriel's post said something like "Thanks, that helped clear some self-forgiveness." Well, Ya! I think that's what it was meant to do!

Here's what Gabriel said:

"is the voice really me? is it actually me speaking? why have i come to believe i require this inner voice? how did this start? when the voice speaks, what is actually going on? why did i listen? how can it be there is a voice in my head? does it serve a purpose?

did i accept it because i saw everyone else was doing it?

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust my thoughts because i saw everyone else doing it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that because everyone else is doing it, it must be acceptable and ok

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to not question my thoughts or the origin of my thoughts but merely take them for granted as 'a part of me' - as 'me speaking to msyelf' apparently

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to indulge in thought because i used the excuse that no one can see it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to try to live my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe my thoughts guide me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe i can still trust my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe my thoughts are 'mine'

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see thought as normal, because it has always been there, because i apparently cannot remember having no thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to wish my thoughts were real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to hope my thoughts are real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust my thoughts as real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret having trusted my thoughts all my life

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret having believed my thoughts all my life

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to continue following my thoughts, because i believed
this is all there is

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to judge my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see thoughts as 'me'

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see thoughts as necessary to survive, and that thinking assists me with being able to survive in this world

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret that i never considered trusting myself as life instead of trusting my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret never having trusted myself as life and merely having tried to live my thoughts and trust the program

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to regret never having stopped myself and question what i am actually doing, why is there thought?

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that thought is necessary because we were created by god, therefore it must be right

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that i was created by god and therefore not question myself

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe there must be a purpose to everything because i believed it was created by God

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to place my trust in a God seperate from me so that i would never have to question myself - who i am- what is actually going on in this world and within me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe the world and humans are good as it is in essence because god created it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust my thoughts as god

i forgive myself that i have never allowed myself to realise that in everything i am responsible for myself and that i my own creation

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see thinking as useful

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to participate in thought because i wanted to be accepted by others

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to seek for acceptance with others and by others, instead of seeing myself and accepting myself as all as one as equal and trusting myself as life

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to want to be smart like other children and therefore indulge in thought

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that other people have usefull thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe others had cool thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see others thoughts as more than me, and feel inferior

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to feel inferior to other people's thoughts as they would speak them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to compare myself to other people as they would speak their thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to speak my thoughts because i wanted to be accepted and because i believed that if others do it then it must be ok

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that the thoughts people speak is who they really are, is that which make them 'someone'/a person - and i wanted to be accepted as someone as a person as well

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that in order to be a real person i must start speaking my thoughts

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to want to become 'a real person'

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to see others as real persons and that apparently you had to be a person to be accepted and to exist in this world

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to start speaking 'my mind' because i saw everyone else at school doing it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust school and the teachers and other children instead of trusting myself as life

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to believe the other children and teachers were these
'great beings' that seemed to know much more than me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to feel inferior to other children and the teacher because they seemed to know a lot more than me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to think and believe i must know the same things as others, so that they will accept me

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that if i cannot speak like the others, then i am less than them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to feel helpless when other children or the teacher seemed to know more than me or when i didn't know something

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that i should take their thoughts and knowledge seriously

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to take the words that were spoken by teachers and other children seriously

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to give into self-defeat because i believed i needed those people and because i believed i had no other way than to learn their way

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe that i could not stop myself

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe i could not take responsibility for myself

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe i had no choice

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to see others as somehow superior than me because of what they said and what they knew

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to see my father as superior to me because of what he said and what he knew

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to not one moment question what i was experiencing within and what was happening, because no one else did

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe the lies people told me and accept them as real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to accept and trust the lies other children and teachers told me

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to start lying to msyelf because everyone else was doing it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to accept my own lies as real

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to not realise thoughts are lies

i forgive myself that i havent allowed myself to realize that everything that was ever told to me was lies

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that everything i was told by 'friends' were lies

i forgive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realize that everything adults and family and teachers told me was lies

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to not see that i was being lied to

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to merely accept the lies that i tell myself because i've done it for so long

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to define myself according to lies

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to believe lies must be ok because i saw everyone was lying

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to become a liar because i allowed myself to start lying to myself in thought

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to accept my own lies as true

i forgive myself that i have allowed msyelf to trust others' lies as true because other believed them, or because everyone else believed them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust someone because everyone else seem to trust them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust knowlegde in books because everyone else seems to trust it

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust the teacher because all other children seemed to trust them

i forgive myself that i have allowed myself to trust my mind because everyone else seemed to trust their mind

ok, now i'm done"

http://desteni.co.za/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10775

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CWG/Abraham-Hicks

Here is an excerpt from Conversations with God Book 3. At the end of the excerpt, God uses a similar analogy to one that Abraham often uses:

"The people of every country think I condone the war they are fighting, and condemn the war that their opponent is fighting. The people of every nation believe they have "God on their side." Every cause assumes the same thing. Indeed, every person feels the same thing-or at least hopes it is true whenever any decision or choice is made.

And do you know why all creatures believe God is on their side? Because I am. And all creatures have an intuitive knowing of this.

This is just another way of saying, "Your will for you is My will for you." And that is just another way of saying, I have given you all free will.

There is no free will if to exercise it in a certain ways produces punishment. That makes a mockery of free will and renders it counterfeit.

So with regard to abortion or war, buying that car or marrying that person, having sex or not having sex, "doing your duty" or not "doing your duty," there is no such thing as right and wrong, and I have no preference in the matter.

You are all in the process of defining yourselves. Every act is an act of self-definition.

If you are pleased with how you have created yourself, if it serves you, you will continue doing so in that way. If you are not, you will stop. This is called evolution.

The process is slow because, as you evolve, you keep changing your ideas about what really serves you; you keep changing your concepts of "pleasure."

Remember what I said earlier. You can tell how highly a person or society has evolved by what that being or society calls "pleasure." And I will add here, by what it declares to serve it.

If it serves you to go to war and kill other beings, you will do so. If it serves you to terminate a pregnancy, you will do so. The only thing that changes as you evolve is your idea of what serves you. And that is based on what you think you are trying do to.

If you are trying to get to Seattle, it will not serve you to head towards San Jose. It is not "morally wrong" to go to San Jose-it simply doesn't serve you."

Edit: Gotta love the synchronicity! Here is a paper I stumbled across while looking for the trouble religious fanaticism has gotten us into. I will paste the link and first two paragraphs here:

On Religious Fanaticism
A Look at Transpersonal Identity Disorder
by
John Firman and Ann Gila
Our world today is torn asunder by men and women who claim that
God is on their side, and who, secure in the righteousness of their
positions, perpetrate acts of violent destruction. Such individuals are
driven by the certainty that they are privy to sacred truths and are
therefore morally obligated to do everything in their power—no matter
how many people may suffer—to act upon these truths. Coupled with
their inflated sense of personal rectitude, moral certainty, and ideological
purity is a tendency to dehumanize and even demonize those who oppose
them.
Although this disorder can be called “religious fanaticism,” those
afflicted need not appear wild-eyed or deranged; quite the contrary, they
can present themselves as thoughtful and responsible people inspired by
the loftiest of ideals. Nevertheless, their absolute confidence in themselves
and their cause, their willingness to create massive destruction for a
supposed higher good, and their dehumanization of their opponents, all
indicate the imbalance of a personality disorder. We need not point out
specific examples of this disorder perhaps, except to say that it can afflict
anyone, from the person on the street, to the international terrorist, to
the leader of the most powerful nation on earth.


http://www.psychosynthesispaloalto.com/pdfs/Religious_Fan.pdf

An interesting read, to say the least...

Edit #2, here's another similarity between the teachings of CwG and my new favorite book, My Big TOE by Thomas Campbell. Here is one place where Tom talks about superiority (I added the bold): "How many of our wars, atrocities, and general acts of meanness have sprung from a sense of superiority? A belief in the supreme importance of humankind is the ultimate source of much mischief. The notion that humans are inherently superior leads to the idea that some humans are superior to, or more significant than, others – a concept that represents the first step down a slippery slope that is both steep and long."

What's it gonna be? Emergence or emergencY?

From Solara's Surf Report 2009

(reposted without permission)


THE PATH OF EMERGENCY


If we continue walking on the crumbling road of duality, we will experience a continual state of emergency. If we are still working at a job we hate, it may well disappear. If we're still holding onto a partner who is not our One True Love, the partnership has a good chance of splitting apart. If we are still filling our lives with activities that have expired or are superficial, they will be cut away from us. If we still believe in lack and scarcity, we will experience more of it. If we hold onto the belief that hardship is a natural part of life, life will be hard. If we are still hiding from our True Selves by building walls of resistance, all our hiding places will be stripped away. If we cling onto our old security nets, they will disappear from under our feet. If we are still basing our actions upon fear, then our fears will be so greatly magnified that we will either break down or breakthrough. This is the Path of Emergency.



THE PATH OF EMERGENCE



If this road doesn't sound very appealing, we all have the choice of walking a totally new road, the Path of Emergence. Here, we put all our efforts into emerging as True Core Beings. We continually remove each old pattern, each glitch that arises, all past residue, from our Personal Matrix. We constantly hone our beings so that we only speak our truth, so that we only express our true feelings. We let go of any activities, friendships and partnerships that are no longer real and true. We stop working at jobs that drain away our lifeforce and create new jobs where we can fully express our creativity and serve our true purpose. We find our hidden bank accounts and know that we will always be taken care of. We expand our stance and stand as the true King of Kings or Queen of Queens that we really are. We become Warriors of Love and spread LOVE everywhere we walk!

2009 is the Year of the Emergence of the True Ones. It is time for us to step in, step forward, join together as One, awaken the vast potential of the sleeping giant of our One Being and finally do what we came here to do. The more we do this, the easier everything will become. The miracles will manifest, the Green Lights will not only remain on, they will become increasingly brighter, illuminating our clear pathway into the New and True.

Excerpt from Communion with God

Please forgive my blatant copyright infringement for reposting this important message (without express permission) from Communion with God, Neale Donald Walsch.

We Are All One.

This is the only message that matters. It is the only message there is. Everything else in Life is a reflection of this message. Everything else sends it.

The fact that you have so far failed to receive it (you have heard it often, but you have failed to receive it) is what has caused every misery, every sorrow, every conflict, every heartache in your experience. It has caused every murder, every war, every rape and robbery, every assault and attack, mental, verbal, and physical. It has caused every illness and disease, and every encounter with what you call "death."

The idea that we are not One is an illusion.

Most people believe in God: They just don't believe in a God who believes in them.

God does believe in them. And God loves them more than most of them know.

The idea that God turned stone-silent and stopped talking to the human race a long time ago is false.

The idea that God is angry with the human race and kicked it out of Paradise is false.

The idea that God has set Himself up as judge and jury and will be deciding whether members of the human race go to heaven or hell is false.

God loves every human being who ever lived, lives now, or ever will live.

God's desire is for every soul to return to God, and God cannot fail in having this desire fulfilled.

God is separate from nothing, and nothing is separate from God.

There is nothing that God needs, because God is everything there is.

This is the good news. Everything else is an illusion.


The human race has been living with illusions for a long time. This is not because the human race is stupid, but because the human race is very smart. Humans have understood intuitively that illusions have a purpose, and a very important one. Most humans have simply forgotten that they know this.


And they have forgotten that their forgetting is itself part of what they have forgotten-and therefore part of the illusion.


Now it is time for humans to remember.

You are one of those who will lead the vanguard in this process. There is nothing surprising in this, given what has been going on in your life.

You have come to this book to remember The Illusions Of Humans, so that you may never again be caught up in them but achieve communion with God once more in the living of your life through the awareness of Ultimate Reality.

It is perfect that you have done so. And it is, obviously, not happenstance.

You have come here so that you may know experientially that God resides within you, that you may have, whenever you wish, a meeting with the Creator.

The Creator may be experienced and found within you and all around you. But you must look past The Illusions Of Humans. You must ignore them.


Here are The Ten Illusions. Get to know them well so that you will recognize them when you encounter them.


1. Need Exists

2. Failure Exists

3. Disunity Exists

4. Insufficiency Exists

5. Requirement Exists

6. Judgment Exists

7. Condemnation Exists

8. Conditionality Exists

9. Superiority Exists

10. Ignorance Exists


The first five of these are the Physical Illusions, having to do with life in your physical body. The second five are the Metaphysical Illusions, having to do with non-physical realities.

forced vaccinations

When they forced vaccinations on the children I remained silent; I was not a child.
When they forced vaccinations on the military I remained silent; I was not in the military.
When they forced vaccinations on health care workers I did not speak out, for I was not a health care worker.
When they forced vaccinations on the pregnant I remained silent; I was not pregnant.
But then I thought, if I remain silent, who’s going to speak out for me, when they try to do it to me?
I do not want a mandatory vaccination and I do not want to be RFID’d or microchipped. Is there anyone out there who feels the same way?
http://fas.org/sgp/crs/RS21414.pdf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_MEWP4A6ug&feature=player_embedded
http://www.wethepeoplewillnotbechipped.com/main/news.php
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGEq2C2Tjuc

Back to Basics

Well ok, I admit it. I confess. I have been out there seeking other spiritual nutrition besides Neale Donald Walsch. I finally got to meet the man in person and spent a little quality time with him over the weekend of July 24th/25th, and then I spent the rest of the summer off behind his back, hunting down other material, listening to other so-called Channelings, but you know what, it always comes back to Conversations with God.
Yesterday I had to go bring the WECCE book back to the library because it had become severely overdue, and didn't even belong to my local library branch, but was borrowed from another town. So, I go bring the book back, mostly unread, and pay the forty cent fine. I print off some forms that my bank needs in order to modify my mortgage, (I use the library or the career center's printers since I don't have one of my own), use the ladies room and start to head out. But something told me to see if they had any interesting audios or videos and wouldn't you know, coincidentally, I happened to notice CWG Book 3 on cassette, read by NDW, Ed Asner and Ellen Burstyn. I could hardly believe my luck! With the fall leaves starting to change, my two obligations out of the way for the day, and a growing Powerball jackpot (tickets can be purchased in NH but not in MA) I suddenly realized I was going on a road trip! Gorgeous sunny day, full tank of gas, something amazing to listen to for what I hoped would be hours, and I was on my way. Well just the sheer synchronicity of that entire library trip had tears pouring down my face by the time I got back in my car. And even though cassette 1 had not been properly rewound prior to being returned, I went ahead and jumped right in on side 2 knowing I had read all of this material before anyway and could most likely listen to it out of chronological order and still be ok.
Well the tears continued to flow as I listened and drove, and revelation after revelation kept sweeping over me like waves, to the point of needing to actually turn off the beloved material so I could ponder my own thoughts for a bit and follow them off on whatever tangential paths they were inspired to take.
I came home fully inspired to start spreading this material more aggressively than I already have, because now more than ever we need the answers that have so lovingly and generously been provided therein.

This is the week for meeting famous people

Well I had already planned on going to Amesbury this Friday night to meet my favorite author, Neale Donald Walsch. I was thinking maybe I would bring one of my Conversations with God books for him to sign. Not sure whether I need Neale's autograph or not, I think meeting him might be enough. But one person's autograph I definitely DO need, and may have a chance at getting, finally, tomorrow night, is Joey Kramer, drummer for Aerosmith. If you've read my blog about my two prized possessions, then you know that four out of the five members of Aerosmith have already signed my concert tee from a few years back, 6 years back or more now I guess, and the only one I had left to get was Joey. Well, he's going to be in Hingham tomorrow night to sign copies of his books. Now, I realize sometimes at these events, they are only "allowed" (duh! by whom?) to sign the book and nothing else. But I have also seen with my own eyes Joe Perry signing many other pieces of memorabilia besides the book or CD we were there to purchase and have autographed. Of course, Joe is not Joey. And there's no telling until I get there. So the suspense and exhilaration of even the possibility of having him sign it are delightful! And the not knowing makes it even more delicious!

I know if I don't get it tomorrow night there will be other chances, and I have never worried about completing the shirt, I've always known it will one day be complete, but right now I feel like I am Very Very close to having it done! Hooray for me! I will let you know what happens...

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Edit 07.24.09
OK, so he didn't sign my shirt. It seemed to be Barnes & Noble's policy more than Joey's personal choice, but they were adamant about it so I didn't even ask. But I did have the presence of mind to ask if, the next time I meet him, he would and he said "sure". Anyway, he did sign my book, and I did get to pose for a picture with him, and I am pleased with the way the picture turned out, and now I still have something to look forward to in the future.

Meanwhile, meeting Neale Donald Walsch and getting to hear him speak in Amesbury for free tonight not only lived up to but in fact actually exceeded my wildest imaginings of how good it could be. He was funny, he was poignant, he had the audience eating out of the palm of his hand, and I swear I got the best seat in the house. Unfortunately I left my Dark Side of the Moon hoodie behind, but the good news is, I requested and have been granted a scholarship to tomorrow's full-day intensive, so I get to go back and spend the whole day with him tomorrow! I am so glad I was inspired to ask if they had any reduced rate or scholarship programs, because I really cannot afford the $249 to get in the door, but I really REALLY did not want to miss spending the day with him! I am so happy I get to go back! Thank you, God!

The Importance of Breathing

Many texts have instructed me to pay more attention to my breathing but none got through to me the way Michael Sharp's work did. Michael never comes out and says "You must quit smoking" but everything he does say about breathing, maintaining a healthy physical unit, and acting consciously with the highest good of all concerned in mind clearly points to this necessity. Not to mention, cigarettes are becoming damned expensive! So now of course it is necessary for me to quit and I intend to work towards that but in the meantime, I am busy giving every breath, smoke filled and not, over to God. I have been giving each day to God for several years now, but Dr. Sharp's work has made me realize, in a more profound way than the Conversations with God material, that every breath can indeed be an act of Communion with God. I have given over my life to him, now I dedicate to Him every individual breath. He has done an amazing job in delighting me with this life I have handed over to Him, now let's see how far he can take me now that I am devoting every breath.

AeroMo 06-28-09

What can I say? I lucked out. I did not want to spend $180 for my ticket. If I was going to spend that much, I wanted to at least WIN some of that money, it was, after all, a casino. I certainly did not want to LOSE any money, and then purchase a $180 ticket on top of that. But that's exactly what happened.

First time I went to the box office, they wanted to put me BEHIND the stage. I said screw that. Box Office is open til nine. I will check back. So at approximately 8:36 I walked up to a different box office window and asked the young woman, "whaddaya got?". She circled with a grease pen section 16, not bad, and then she said, but I do also have two on the floor. Section 2. I said, did they just become available? She said yes. I said, give me one. And so I was in Section 2, Row B (third row actually because they started with AA), seat 16. But I did not sit in my seat. I got seated, made friends with the two guys seated between me and the catwalk, spotted Ellen and struck up a conversation, and then with the coaxing of my two new friends and the confirmation from Ellen that it would be ok, I walked on over to the catwalk, where I stood for the entire show. This spot was nearly the same as the best seat I'd ever had up until now, which was Row L at the Dunk in Providence, also on the catwalk. But that was about ten people back. This was about half as much. And at the Dunk, there were two catwalks. Last night, there was just the one. Closer to the stage were security, Ellen's friend (who caught Steven's shirt and harmonica, I think he and Ellen just became friends last night), Ellen, Lisa, Kristin, two other girls, and then me. And then more security. Security told me no video, but I misinterpreted what he said and thought he was saying no camera, so I put it away for almost the rest of the show. Near the end of Round and Round I asked the kid, "everyone else has their cameras" at which point he told me still shots were ok, it was just video that was not allowed. So I repeated what he said, twice, and then thanked him, and proceeded to take what would be the equivalent of one of the largest rolls of film available today, about 40 more than I had already taken before he told me to put it away. OMG I might not have a job or any money, but seriously, that concert ticket was possibly the best two hundred bucks I've ever spent. The memories, pictures, and one tiny little piece of video I did manage to capture will last me the rest of my life. Not to mention sharing in everyone else's delight who was there, and knowing that I had one of the absolute prime spots in the entire arena, and possibly being able to see my own ugly mug in other people's shots. I am in heaven right now, and no one can possibly steal this joy from me!

Edit: 12/12/09 ~ With the fate of the band now a total unknown, this Aero Mo show and the Mansfield one become MUCH MUCH more valuable experiences for me.

Aerosmith at Comcast, 06.16.09

The band appeared, the crowd went wild, and as the first few notes resounded through the stadium, I found myself wondering why I ever started to stop liking them, and feeling enormous relief and gratitude that I chose to go to the show. I had been feeling disillusioned with the Boyz, there's been no new material in ages, and their last hiatus lasted 20 months, and naturally they have been beset with health issues, as they are all in their late fifties and early sixties at this point. But they did so well last night, and the audio quality was I think the best I've ever heard at any show, and even though Joe never beat his guitar with his shirt, and even though they ended prematurely (10:50PM), it was probably among the best money I have ever spent for anything, and having been unemployed for the last four and a half months, the things I choose to spend my money on are few and far between these days!!

Something about the lighting when they first appeared last night, made me so incredibly grateful for my sense of vision and the more I thought about it, the more I realized an Aerosmith concert is the greatest opportunity to appreciate my physical body and all of its accompanying senses. I don't have the greatest sense of smell, but it was hard to miss the marijuana permeating the crowd, I even smelled a seed! My ears were working perfectly and my voice, although a little rough this morning, came through for me last night, especially when cheering for (Thank God he's recovered) Tom Hamilton, the one I met most recently. Brad was not there last night, and they did not play You See Me Crying, but I have all of Big Ten Inch Record on video, and that I believe is the first time I've ever seen them do that one live. I will post my pics and vid on Facebook pretty soon.

Poker Poker Poker

I haven't been blogging much lately because I have been so busy playing Texas Hold 'em poker in every format imaginable. I play online every Saturday at noon and Sunday at 3. Sunday nights I play in real life at a place called the Tavern in Framingham. Monday nights I play at the Lazy Dog in Marlboro. Tuesday nights I play at the Original Sports Pub and Pizza in Framingham. Wednesdays I either play there again or at Finnegan's in Hudson. Thursdays and Fridays I don't have poker unless there is a home game. Plus I play online through Facebook every chance I get, either Zynga Texas Hold 'em or Poker Palace.

The people I've met at cards are very very nice. I have made some good friends there. I am happy to have started back up with poker, after taking a two-year hiatus. I used to play at Tin Alley Grill in Framingham, from February 2007 through May 2007. I do not remember why I stopped but I think it is one of three things. Either someone pissed me off, or I didn't like not being able to smoke and play at the same time, or the weather warmed up and I found other things to do. I really think it is the middle one, though. I think I got my home game going specifically so I could smoke and play at the same time, like in the old days at Cam's. I really do like to smoke whenever I gamble, for me the two go hand in hand.

Happy Easter!

This has been the greatest 8 days for me. It started last Saturday night when I saw Gilmour's Breakfast at the Knights of Columbus in Westboro. Sunday I played poker at the Tavern and lost. Monday I played at the Lazy Dog and came in second to Victor, which meant I won the certificate. Tuesday I played at the Sports Pub in Framingham and came in first in the first round. Wednesday I went back and came in first in the second round. So I won a certificate three nights in a row, and my points for April and the second quarter started out with a bang! Gotta go check the leaderboards at some point. Thursday we had the first home game we've had in a while, and only the second since I lost my job. Friday morning, Paul sent me down to the casino which turned out to be a bad idea but at least I had fun. Plus it was a beautiful day. Friday night, more Gilmour's Breakfast but first I had dinner with Amy and we watched "What the %^&*@# Do We Know" together, Down the Rabbit Hole version, pausing for discussion. I always enjoy the time I spend with Amy and am very glad we met! The GB show in Connecticut was amazing, they had a girl singer come onstage to scat the Great Gig in the Sky and it is no exaggeration when I tell you my eyes got moist listening to this woman belt out this beautiful song. She did an amazing job. Amazing. I've never heard anyone besides Claire Torrey sing that song so well. I hope they invite her back to do it again! Yesterday I played in my first monthly tournament and came in twelfth out of 29, not bad for a first attempt and starting with so many fewer chips than most contestants. Today has been extraordinarily relaxing and I am gearing up for yet another week on the job search. Hopefully etfile calls me back in pretty soon, I don't want to lose hope with them but fear I may be too expensive, time will tell.

Edit 05-18-09: Easter Sunday was a very good day for me. After the monthly tournament on Saturday, I had sent out a couple of Facebook friend requests. Sunday around noon-ish, one of them was accepted and some communication started up. That friendship has blossomed and I had a very good early spring because of it. And to quote Forrest Gump, "and that's all I have to say about that."

Roger Waters and Pink Floyd

Lately I have been reminiscing a lot about the Pink Floyd reunion at Live8 on July 2nd, 2005. I don't really have the words to articulate the full meaning of this event to my life. I find it remarkable that this happened after I had completely given up hope that this would ever happen. The same thing happened after my mother died. We had made an agreement ahead of time (we knew well in advance that she was going to die from non-Hodgkins lymphoma) that she would come to me in a dream if it were at all possible, and that she would tell me I was right in everything I had come to believe about what happens after we die, through my reading of near-death experiences. Well she waited (I forget now) either three or six months to actually make this visit to me, and it was definitely after I had given up all hope of it ever happening.
When I met Steven Tyler the first time, he showed up to the charity event moments after I had given up all hope that it was ever going to happen.
In a way it makes me want to give up all hope that I will ever win the lottery! Why do I get the feeling if I did that, I would win?!?

Let Go, Let God

Abraham's stream - Surrender - Let Go, Let God, isn't it all the same, really? Relax, go with the flow, take it as it comes, live in the moment, is it all saying the same thing, or something different? Be good to yourself, do unto others, you can't love another until you love yourself...

How can people hurt each other? That's what I don't get. How can people deliberately harm another person with malicious intent? Don't you realize what you do to me, you do to yourself? Are you not concerned with the life after this one, where you get to go through it as me, and get to be on the receiving end of that pain you inflicted? This is why I am an uplifter in this lifetime. When I get to be you, I want the interactions you have with me to be pleasant and memorable and leave you with a smile on your face when you think of me. I really don't want to see myself crying through your eyes. So please don't make me cry, you will only come to regret it.

It's all the same

Abraham-Hicks' "Stream of Well-Being" = A Course in Miracles "Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists, herein lies the peace of God = Taoism "Going with the Tao" = Let Go, Let God or Surrender. It's all saying the same thing. Again, Abraham-Hicks "You are loved, all is well". What is there to be worried about? What can happen to you? You are energy and can neither be destroyed nor created but merely change form. There is a lot more going on here than we can just see with our eyes, but you really have to be open to accepting it in order to be able to see it. It's all perception, that's all it is. You get to decide if it's "positive" or "negative". You get to decide "what it means". And inside, you know you know the answer.

My Bliss

I am finding it is easier to raise my vibration and experience my bliss now that I don't work.
I guess the work day took a lot of my focus and I wasn't really able to fully concentrate on raising my vibration. I thought I was feeling gratitude a lot of the time but in fact I was mostly concerned with filling out my time sheet, wondering how the next call or meeting was going to go, hoping to get invited to participate in lunches and wondering what my boss and colleagues thought of me. I don't have any of that anymore! Now I can enjoy Facebook, and the reminiscent feelings that keep washing over me like waves. Now I can appreciate having music and videos at my fingertips and totally under my control, especially the volume! I realize I need to get a new job and start working again very soon, but for now, I am thoroughly enjoying my unexpected time off. Getting my vibration this high can only be good for me and my future.

The Little Soul and The Sun

I don't know if I'm allowed to post this link or what, but here it is:
http://www.sapphyr.net/largegems/littlesoul-thesun.htm

This is a quick read and a gentle introduction to the Conversations with God material as well as a primer for A Course in Miracles.

When someone pisses me off (and you know who you are!) I remind myself that we had a pre-existing agreement to be here together and to interact with one another and to present ourselves with Forgiveness Opportunities. Thank you to the people in my life who are teaching me to love unconditionally. I may not show it all the time, but I really do love you all.

More on music

Well I could've edited my last blog but instead I will just amend it here. As my friend RG says, there are rules and there are exceptions. Obviously I like some bands whose lead singers' voices are not all that pleasing to me. Without intending to hurt Robbie Taylor's feelings, I don't particularly care for his voice. I was describing Gilmour's Breakfast to a colleague who asked me if the lead singer sounds more like Roger Waters or David Gilmour. I had to be honest and tell him Rob sounds like neither. He does a very very good job with the music, his passion is intense, his stage presence is right on, and he almost always gets all the words right (I'm still mad that he f*cked up Goodbye Cruel World at Lazy Dog after charging me 8 bucks to get in there - the song is short enough to begin with and he chopped a bunch of it out) but he really doesn't have the angelic quality of David Gilmour or the mean sounding sharp edge of Roger Waters.
I would've liked to go see them on New Year's Eve, but the weather and driving conditions, combined with the fact that I did not purchase my ticket in advance, along with my general lack of desire to be out on New Year's, kept me home. I was just checking out their tour dates and I am going to have lots more opportunities to see them. Hopefully for cheap or for free. If this bullshit with the rising cover charges persists, I will content myself to just catch them on YouTube/MySpace, their Charter cable appearance and their own website.

Edit: I really don't want to hurt Rob's feelings and I don't want him to think I don't like his singing because I do like it. But I stand by my statement that he doesn't sound like David Gilmour or Roger Waters. He does an awesome job though and I really enjoy their music. And I'm looking forward to the show at the Lucky Dog this Friday night!

Edit #2: They played Goodbye Cruel World again last night and now I realize it wasn't Robbie's fault that part of it got cut out, it's the whole band! I think they need to listen to it again.

Edit #3: He may not sound like Roger Waters or David Gilmour, but he's a pretty close match wtih Roy Harper, I realized the other day listening to Have a Cigar on the radio.

My thoughts on Music

I really need to like the lead singer's voice in order to like the band. There are very few exceptions. I like a smooth timbre in a lead singer's voice. I adore the studio version of Metallica's Nothing Else Matters because James Hetfield's voice is so smooth, yet powerful at the same time. It's beautiful.
I spend a lot of time listening to Aerosmith wondering what the heck Steven Tyler is saying. Similarly, I listen to a lot of Pink Floyd and Roger Waters music, also wondering, what the hell are they saying, only figuratively, not literally. In the case of Steven Tyler, I literally can't understand the words a lot of the time. With Roger Waters, I love to try to decipher the meaning. Roger Waters is one singer I can bear to listen to who doesn't exactly have the highest quality singing voice (in my humble opinion). I can stand to listen to him sing because I find his words so profound. In fact I genuinely love to hear him sing, and the Final Cut along with his solo albums definitely rank among the topmost layer of my favorites. I am in heaven listening to him, or watching him sing on YouTube.

Edit: Roger Waters claims to be tone deaf. When I listen to him sing the albums The Final Cut or Pros and Cons, I wonder, how can this be so? I don't know, but I thank God there is so much recorded material from both him and David Gilmour, the band as a whole especially now that Rick Wright is dead, and other artists I love. Am I foolish for feeling gratitude for so many things other people don't even give a second thought to or worse, take for granted?