Last Night's Dreams

Last night's dreams did not contain any Barry but they were fairly interesting and I want to jot down what I can still remember, while I can still remember it.

The first thing I remember was having a telephone conversation with our internal Help Desk support person, Natalia. I cannot remember what the phone conversation was about but it was fairly long. I became concerned that others might notice how long we were talking on the phone for, and then realized that as long as they could only hear her end of the conversation it was fine. And I remember reminding myself that I had seen her on the phone providing support to others plenty of times and that it was fine. I suspect this may have been sparked by the fact that Natalia has a blog that I sometimes read here at work. Or because of the fact that she helped me get my phone to work recently.

The next thing I remember is being in the shower with a little kid resembling the younger Jake on Two and a Half Men. It is unclear whether this boy was my child or if I was just babysitting but for whatever reason he needed a bath and it made the most sense for him to come in there with me. In the beginning he had some underwear on but eventually he was naked. I remember arguing with him that he needed to bathe and wash his hair and him being most upset over this. I want to say this was sparked by a scene I recently caught from the movie Kramer vs. Kramer when Dustin Hoffman is telling his son he needs to bathe every day and wash his hair twice a week. Eventually I got sick of arguing with him and I said "fine, you've been rinsed, get out".

Surprisingly it was the bathroom in my current house, not the house I grew up in. Oftentimes I dream about the house I grew up in, even though I have been gone from there since 1989.

The last part of the dream took place at Cam's. I had my friend Elijah over and he was spending an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom. When I went down the hall to check on him, Nick White, who we used to play cards with, was sneaking down the hall and into the back bedroom. I chased Nick down the hall and found that he was chopping up lines of cocaine for the two of them to snort! By this time, Cam's had morphed into the house I grew up in. I told Nick, well obviously I need to snort one of those and he told me that was totally understandable.

This is a little odd because it's been more than 13 years since I've touched or been interested in cocaine in any form.

Dreamed About Him Again Last Night

As usual, I can only remember scattered portions of my dream. Someone was driving me to New York City. We drove past these famous windmill/ferris wheel type things. I think this was sparked by Darren Aucoin talking last night about the two new ferris wheels they are building in Vegas, bigger even than the one in London. Someone joined us in the car, and I remarked that she did not get to go past those structures with us when we went by them. Suddenly it was my sister Laurie driving the car, and she could see the way was clear to back up all the way back to the windmill ferris wheel thingies, and so she did, so the newcomer could see them. I remarked that I wished  my camera had not broken, and that the first chance I got, I was going to buy a new one. I could see New York City out the car window and I was wondering why it was so far away, and then I realized my driver, who was no longer my sister, wanted to take me to the city via Brooklyn, so I could see the place where Barry grew up.
The next thing I remember, I was at a party, function or event of some type, not a concert (I don't think) and he was there! He was roaming around alone, talking to no one. So I grabbed the opportunity to go up to him. His back was to me and I tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around and looked at me, I was taken aback by the bright blueness of his eyes. I couldn't believe how pretty they were in person! I told him my sad story, how my camera and my dog died on the same day last week. I told him how Chief was sitting in the driver's seat of my car and how I wanted to take a photo of him sitting there, and when I turned my camera on, it was broken. I told him that I planned to buy a new camera soon, and I hoped when I did, if I saw him again, he would pose for a picture with me. I believe he was very nice to me. That's all I can remember.

Chief Traub Citino Sterling ("Chiefy")

This is my dog, Chief.

Today is a very sad day. It may not be the worst day in my life, but it's right up there with the day my mother died, the day my father died, and the day my beloved cat Lino was put to sleep after 17 years.

Chief had a vet appointment last month and it was discovered that he had lost 10 pounds since his last visit the year before. I told the vet he had been acting hungrier than usual and drinking a bit more water than before. She asked if he had been pacing a lot, unable to get comfortable. She thought he might have cancer.

Now, when Chief shakes his head, he falls down. The first time he fell, waiting for his dinner to be served, it was funny to me because he literally fell on his face. The falling is not so funny any more.

Today I am working half a day (from ten until two) and then at 2:30, I am taking Chief to the vet to be destroyed. My heart is breaking.

We got Chief 11 years ago from my sister. They wanted a dog for their kids, but he had turned out to be a handful, chewing through her safety belts when they left him alone in the car, chewing through a second story window screen and jumping out when they left him alone in the house, and eating her vacuum hose. My sister's dog trainer told her he needed a place where someone would be home all the time, preferably with another dog and a fenced-in yard. We had all of the above at the time, so we took him for a weekend to see how he would get along with Sabrina. He stayed with us ever since.

I just don't have the words to articulate how upset I am at having to do this to my beloved pet.

Enunciation

Ok, so I've already mentioned how I love the way he sings through his notes and adds a little extra oomph at the end of some of them. I notice it's on the "N" sounds mostly that he does this. N's and M's I guess. I really love how well he enunciates his lyrics. I never have trouble understanding the words to any of the songs he sings. There's one line from one song that I had some trouble with, and that was Bandstand Boogie. I didn't know what the line was after "The Singer's Croonin" but thanks to some helpful internet poster, I have just learned the line is "He ain't the greatest but gee".

Also previously I had stated that I wished he would harmonize with himself more and I was only able to find three examples of this. Well, the more I listen, the more I realize he actually does harmonize with himself more than I thought. I was listening to a studio recording yesterday and there he was, singing with himself but of course now I cannot remember the name of the song.


It's silly, really. I listen to him all morning through my computer until it's time to get ready for work. Then I listen to him in my car for the whole commute in to work. Then I get to work and start listening to him through my computer between calls. And then when I get home from work or poker, I listen to him all night while playing Bejeweled or some other silly Facebook game, until it's time to go to bed. I often wake up with one of his songs playing in my head, not necessarily the last one I listened to before going to sleep.

I keep wondering if and when this will end but so far it's barely shown signs of slowing down. In fact, as I said in one of my earlier posts, I am still searching YouTube for videos of recent performances and the folks who went to see him at the Greek Theater earlier this week (right before his birthday) have not let me down!

Regrets

Today, in honor of The Man's 70th birthday, I will list out my regrets.
I regret abandoning him when I did, and waiting so long to come back.

I regret not seeing him Live when he was bringing people up to sing Can't Smile Without You.

I regret not making a sign to get picked.
I regret not being able to sing with him, and hug and kiss him like so many lucky fans got to do.

I regret not following his career more closely through the years.

I regret not going to see him Live sooner, like last year when he was doing "If I Should Love Again" (Thank God his fans captured a few of these performances on video for me to enjoy!)

I know there are more but I guess that's it for now.

Why doesn't he ever sing Daybreak??!?

Finally Dreamed About Him

With all of the audio and visual input this past month or so, I was surprised I wasn't dreaming about Barry every night. But last night I did. I dreamed he was my boyfriend, and we were making out before one of his shows. Then we were at a party, and he was performing. I went looking for him during his break, expecting him to be outside smoking, and then I realized the performer would probably be given a different place to smoke, so as not to have to smoke with us little people. In an earlier part of the dream, I had called my friend Lynn to see if she wanted to come see him perform with me. She wouldn't say his name on the phone. She said, "Oh yes, I would like to go see 'that person' with you" or something along those lines and when I saw her in person I asked her why she said it like that, she said she had a friend over who could hear her side of the conversation and she was concerned about what this friend would think if she admitted she liked Barry Manilow.
I really can't remember much of it but I am glad I dreamed about him! It was fun being his girlfriend and kissing him.

Remorse

Ok, so I feel pretty bad about a couple of things I said in my last post. First, the Daffy-Duckishness of Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word. It's true, it makes me love him more. His lisp and his scar, for some reason, are two of my favorite things about him! I've always had a soft spot in my heart for people who have a lisp or a stutter. I don't know why!

And the thing about Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head. I felt bad that I said I couldn't listen to it all the way through. It is his laughing that bothered me, it sounded so fake. I went back and forced myself to listen to it all the way through, and it's really not that bad, except for the laughing.

I love him so much and I hate to be critical! The good definitely outweighs the bad. But I wouldn't be being authentic if I didn't mention the negative along with all of the glowing and wonderful things I have to say about the man and his enormous talent.